Chad’s DXM Report # 2 : “I realized that tripping is a beautiful process of mind revealing itself to mind…”
This last Sunday I made another trip / experiment with DXM. This time I purchased four bottles of the Robitussin Cough Gels for a grand total of 1200 mg of DXM. I made a few mistakes. I always make sure that I’m doing well both physically and mentally before I trip. The truth was that my stomach was upset and I was feeling a little stressed out. But I was impatient to do my experiment so I went ahead. I had some ideas of things I wanted to do but did not set anything out beforehand, thinking that I would be able to do so later on.I swallowed all four bottles around 9:30 Sunday night. My wife and little girl were asleep and I was ready to plunge in. I put in a movie while waiting for the stuff to take effect. Watched ‘Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas’ – a great movie that was even better with the first rising vibes of euphoria setting in.
About the time that Duke and Gonzo made it to Circus Circus my euphoria suddenly vanished and was replaced by a sick feeling deep in my stomach. It felt as though somebody had punched me in the gut. I immediately realized what was going on. My stomach cramps from earlier in the evening had returned and were now heightened by the onset of the trip. I berated myself for not waiting a little longer.
The stuff really started hitting hard about an hour and a half after I took the pills. I had to stumble into the bathroom. I will spare you the gruesome details. Suffice it to say that upset stomach and tripping do not go well together. I went through a seeming eternity of what turned out to be, in actual time, just a few minutes. I was weak after my ordeal. I grabbed some soda from the fridge and sat down in the living room.
I felt purged after the terrible bathroom incident. I started feeling better after a few minutes. I sat down in front of the air conditioner and let the cool air wash over me. But the drama was not over. Next I got a terrible itching sensation all over my body. O shit, I thought, it’s the robo-itches! It felt like I had hives or something. Realizing I could easily scratch myself raw I made it back to the bathroom and took a couple of Benadryl. These took effect quickly and I was saved from the hell of robo-itch.
I was thinking to myself what a rotten way this all was to start a trip. I was right. After my body started feeling better my mind decided it was time to get sick. I was confronted by all sorts of negative thoughts and emotions. Fortunately I realized this for what it was – the irritability I felt before the trip was now becoming magnified. This is why I don’t trip if I’m not feeling well physically or mentally – the trip can easily turn nasty. But the surest cure for such a trip ailment is to recognize it for what it is, label it, and let it pass. This I did and was feeling better both in body and mind in just a few minutes. The nasty part of the trip was over. By now it was going on 11:30 at night.
I was feeling really good now. The euphoria was back but it was a calming sensation, not a hyperactive type of euphoria. I turned off the tv and all the lights in the house. I was anxious to see what kind of visual effects I would get in the total dark. I remembered one of the things I wanted to do was to listen to music, so I got my cd player and headphones. I put in ‘Sacred Ritual Music of Tibet’ and sat down in the recliner. The music was full and rich and seemed to send vibrations through my body. I got lost in the music – losing all sense of time and place and self. There was only the music. The passage of time continued to slow down throughout the evening.
After listening to most of the cd I decided it was time to get up and have a stretch. By this time the robo-walk had set in and I had to slowly stumble my way back into the kitchen. I had a smoke and watched the full moon. Afterwards I grabbed my tape player and tapes and headed back to the living room. This was the part of the trip I was really looking forward to. When I bought my NovaDreamer over a decade ago, it came with two cassette tapes by Dr. LaBerge. One was a general tape dealing with lucidity topics and relaxation exercises. The second tape was a trance induction program for lucid dreaming. I put the trance tape in. I wanted to lay down in bed but I knew that in my current state I probably wouldn’t make it that far and would end up waking my family. I went back into the living room and ended up falling on the floor. My depth perception was totally screwed.
I laid down on the floor and pressed play. Soothing, ambient music enfolded me, relaxing me as I listened. I was taken through a visualization – each word from the instructor blossomed in my mind as a shimmering, bright image. A spiral staircase came into being, glowing blue, and I saw myself walking down the steps. My mind was in another place and I found it hard to concentrate on the instructions coming from the tape. I could not grasp sentences. Each word caused a brief, powerful image to appear behind my eyes. I felt as if my head were as big as an ocean and each word was like a drop of water that caused the whole to resonate with gentle waves.
I couldn’t grasp what I was supposed to do but realized the main goal of the project. I remembered that this was an attempt at auto-hypnosis and could just hope that my brain was picking up the message. The words seemed to come from deep inside my head –
‘you’ ‘will’ ‘awaken’ ‘you’ ‘will’ ‘see’. Yes, I said to myself. I lost track of where I was. I could not remember if I was awake or dreaming. I didn’t know if I was in bed or in another room. The lines that separated waking, sleeping, and dreaming all fell away. I felt as though I had always been in this lucid state. During brief periods of clear-headedness, I realized that the increase in dosage from my last trip was having a major effect on me. This was a much more intense trip than my last one. I remember thinking that I had initially scoffed at DXM, seeing it as a poor substitute for the ‘real’ hallucinogens. I realized that assumption was wrong and DXM was indeed a powerful hallucinogen in its own right.
The tape ended and I had a lot of trouble switching it to the next side. I kept attempting to stick the tape in my forehead, after all that’s where the sound seemed to be coming from. I gave up and put the tape down. I held the walkman in my hands but could not remember for the life of me what the damn thing was for and what I was doing holding it. I put it down as well and went back to the safety of the living room.
I was talking to myself, trying to get oriented. I began listing things off “It is Sunday. I am in my living room. I have taken a drug. I am tripping”. I sat and did some breath meditation for a few minutes. I have always found this very helpful while tripping –it’s easy to do and easy to remember, even while being ‘far out’ on a trip and it’s an excellent tool to ground one’s self and drive away negative energies.
The breath meditation gave me a clear head and seemed to increase the trip ten-fold. I wondered what to do next. What would Ben suggest? I laughed at the thought and tried to conjure him up before my mind’s eye. I found myself flying through the darkness and seeing bright spheres of light ahead – these spheres were the astral projections of the Dreaming Life website. I floated through these, marveling at the intricate patterns of light that played between the glowing spheres. The text was in a foreign, alien looking script. I pushed on one sphere that had Ben’s picture on it. A glowing outline of a male figure emerged from the globe. The Ben figure put his hand into another globe. He drew it out and his hand was followed by a trail of glowing symbols. He folded these on top of one another and shaped them as if they were clay. He made various figures of the mystic script and finally passed them to me. I caught the ball of glowing symbols and began to reconfigure them. We passed several of these ‘knowledge balls’ back and forth. Each time I caught one of these glowing spheres I had an insight, dealing with the trip itself and the nature of mind. I realized that we are primarily minds – entities that perceive, think, and feel. I realized that tripping, like other means to enlightenment, is a beautiful process of mind revealing itself to mind – a constant unfolding. Before long, everything, including myself, seemed to evaporate into the darkness.
Several hours passed as my mind went out further and further. I lost all sense of self. I wandered through beautiful astral landscapes. I was in awe at the nature and beauty of the human mind.
I played the trance tape several more times and finally started coming down at around 5 in the morning. I fell down twice while trying to get back into bed. I fell asleep in no time. The trip took a lot out of me. My wife was very kind and took care of the little one while I slept all day Monday. I was off of work Tuesday and slept half of it as well.
An amazing experience. There’s so much more that I want to tell but simply cannot find the words for. Tripping is a sacred experience.
Note: This guest post was written by Chad, who was interviewed previously on Dreaming Life at Exploring the Oneiroverse with Chad Watts: On Lucid Dreams, Entheogens, and the Spiritual Experience.
Photo by Jorgiim.