Dream #8: The Exorcist

12 Jul

Art by Ben | Copyright 2010 | Dreaming Life

Art by Ben | Copyright 2010 | Dreaming Life

Lots of people have their personal nightmare; you know, the one that re-occurs overs the years, the one that horrifies them to the core, even if sometimes it doesn’t seem very scary when talking about it.

Mine is something most people are familiar with: the 1970’s horror film, The Exorcist.

When I was 10 years old I saw The Exorcist. It was on TV and I watched it with my brothers. Not wanting to look weak in front of them, I acted brave; oh no, this movie doesn’t scare me!

The truth is, it scared the living shit out my 10 year old self. I vividly remember being scared of possession, so much that I  purposely slept in a crooked position because of those scenes in The Exorcist where they showed her body floating in the air, possessed, straight as a nail. I thought if I slept straight I would be more susceptible to demon possession.

This fear slowly dissipated in its intensity over the years; but instead of becoming something I ignorantly feared, it just turned into a fear deep in my head, somewhere. The only place it had to come out was my dreams. You know, that wonderful place where logic doesn’t apply so well like it does it the real world to contain our fears.

That little girl from The Exorcist has now appeared in my dreams for years, making many a guest appearance. The dreams are some of scariest I’ve ever had. It did not help that last year I read the book – which, mind you, I thought was a brilliantly written piece of fiction, and by far the most elegantly disturbing horror novel I’ve ever read – but reading this book absolutely planted her little seed in my head again and she made quite a few appearances in that time frame.

I thought it’d be interesting to share one of those dreams. This dream is special in that it also includes someone whom I have much admiration for, a friend named Juan who wrote about his experiences in Peru under a shaman and allowed me to share it on Dreaming Life for which I’m very thankful. His appearance in this dream is very intriguing to me. (You can read more about his experiences here.)

Here’s what I wrote in my dream journal in February 2009 about a dream with Juan and the demon from The Exorcist. In ths dream, she is in the next room chained to a bed when I get something from Juan in the mail and then have to into her room for some reason.

I’ve received a package in the mail from Juan. It contains various shamanic plants, including ayahausca. His letter says we must have the girl come stay with him immediately or she will die. He will perform a shamanic ritual in order to save her. But the thing is, I know she is already dead.

I have to go through her room to get something. I am terribly scared of her. I walk through her room and she watches; intently, intelligently.

I do not make eye contact, but I can feel her eyes on me. I am pulled into returning her stare.

She’s lying on the bed. Her face is pale, with blue and white rings. She is terrifying to witness.

There is an electrifying, intelligent look in her face beyond the years of a young girl.

I wake up in fear.

I added after this some commentary:

The energy of the little girl – the demo – was so sharp, so focused – her eyes were on my like a wild animal stalking its prey. And the color of her skin, a pale blue and white blended together, similar to the color contrasts I’ve been using in my art. A visually and emotionally captivating dream experience. I finished reading the Exorcist book about 2 weeks ago – fascinating how the fear lurks in my mind and comes out so much later in this dream.

Isn’t it amazing how something we saw that scared as children can haunt is our dreams as adults?

Much in the same way of what I wrote about recently in that there’s a goddess archetype that developed in my dreams over the years, this demonic little girl from the Exorcist has become a kind of reoccurring nightmare concept that has appeared in my dreams on and off for more than a decade.

It gives me the creeps just writing about it and thinking about her.

7 Responses to “Dream #8: The Exorcist”

  1. karam11 August 15, 2010 at 11:34 am #

    I too have dreams of her where she’s just lying in her bed and staring to whoever go inside that cold room , last time I dreamed of her , I was driving that demon out of her by reading a religious book and she just kept laughing , other time she just run after me and I’m running like crazy,other times she levitate in the sky and I see her when I’m in the street ,she always have that paralyzing scary look
    we have much in common , I saw the movie too when I was around 10-12 years old , it scared the crap out of me

  2. Ben August 15, 2010 at 10:10 pm #

    God, just reading this gives me the effin’ creeps. Levitating in the SKY? That’ll probably show up in my dreams now! Ah!

    Even so, thank for sharing. 🙂

  3. Sarah September 2, 2010 at 7:47 pm #

    hey, im only 16 but i just wanted to look this up and see if anyone else had similar dreams. i watched it when i was about 8, and up until a couple of years ago, it scarred me. i never went upstairs alone, ever. my parents or sisters had to take me to the bathroom, or walk me to get something from my room. i’ve never been so scared of anything in my life. it was on the tv a couple of weeks ago, and i thought i would watch it to try and overcome my fear, but it didnt work and as soon as i saw her crawl down them stairs, i flicked channels and stared in horror. and what made it worse one time, i was in my bedroom alone, in the attic, and it was pretty dark but i had the computer light to keep me company. anyways, my friend told me to go on webcam, so we did and she gave me a link to the ‘scary maze game’. so i played it and my face was right up next to the screen, concentrating and then ‘she’ popped up and i couldnt click it off, and it was also accompinied with a deafining screaming sound. my friend saw my reaction and thought it was hilarious but i nearly died of shock. i couldnt sleep the whole night.
    i had dreams every single night of her for about 6 years. im so glad ive grown out of it now, but because i’ve brought it back up, i bet i dream of it tonight. 🙂
    sorry its so long, i get wrong off people for explainng to much. haha

  4. Ben September 2, 2010 at 9:10 pm #

    Hi Sarah! Thanks for sharing your experiences with your similar nightmares! Wow, you had dreams about the Exorcist girl on a nightly basis for 6 years? That is horrifying. :/ Do you think there’s any particular reason why they stopped? You’ll have to leave us know if she comes back now that we’re talking about this. (Somewhat to my own surprise, I don’t think I’ve dreamt of her again since publishing this article.)

  5. condorshaman September 20, 2010 at 4:36 am #

    ah dreaming life, it is all about us : )

  6. Ben September 22, 2010 at 1:57 am #

    What do you mean?

  7. ivan January 10, 2011 at 9:38 pm #

    When this movie came out me, my friend and my older 12 year old brother sneaked out the house and went to the movies to see this when we was only 8 years old. That was a big mistake. When the movie was over I will never forget the horror on the audience face. So when I got home that night I was so scared that I had to sleep with the lights on for 8 weeks, I was so scared to be alone. I just couldn’t get that girl face out of my head. From that time until now I still have nightmares about this possessed girl. But the dreams are not as frequent as when I was younger, but once in a while I still have dreams about this possessed girl chasing me in that house and I can’t seem to get out of that house. I wish I never saw this movie.

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