Fake Urine?

27 Jun


Believe it or not, there is a small niche industry built around supplying people with fake, sythentic urine in order to pass a drug test pull a funny prank.

Wait…pull a prank or scam your drug test? Which is it?

See here’s on the deal on that:

Technically it’s all bought and sold as a novelty item. Maybe this is true if you realize that indeed, it is pretty damn novel of you to replace your tainted pee with some clean fake pee and fool everyone. Horrifically, it is also sold for fetish purposes. I’ll let you think about that for a second. Ew.

Side Note: Can you imagine being the guy who owns this business? I wonder what his business card says. I also wouldn’t mind knowing if he needs a business partner.

In this blog post, we look at just what the heck this fake urine stuff is all about, how it works, if it works, and what you should know about it whether you’re a concerned parent or a targeted employee facing a test you really don’t want to fail.



 

Fake Urine – For Real?

As gross as it sounds, yes… it’s real.

Really fake, that is.

And I’ve heard a rumor that indeed, people have bought it, broken their promise to only use it as a novelty item, and switched it out with their urine in order to pass a drug test.

How widespread is it? No one knows but here’s an interesting article about a lab running tests for construction workers in which about 5% of samples submitted ended up being synthetic. Another facility reporting a range of 1% to 2.5% of samples being fake. Another facility reporting on samples from individuals on probation, the number jumps considerably higher. Something in the range of 20-30% showed evidence of manipulation, whether through synthetic means or something like the QCarbo 32 Detox Drinks.

It’s kind of a catch-22 though on how common is it though. Obviously these labs aren’t able to include all the thousands of samples that they don’t realize are fake.

For those that did though, how odd it must have been as a lab worker to figure out not only were there no drugs but also no urine in the urine samples?

What Is It?

That’s a good question. Of course the companies selling it don’t spell it all out, that’d be like Coke giving away their secret recipe.

But, if you were going to replicate things the right way, the ingredients would look something like this:

water, salts, proteins, metabolites, and hormones.

Also, the pH balance of real urine goes between 4.4 to 8, with 7 being neutral.

However these products are made, they must be finding a way to replicate the chemical analysis and standard pH balance range – or at least, replicate whichever of these componenents are used as a baseline to determine if the sample is, in fact, actual human urine.

Along with this, fresh urine coming from the body is going to be around 98.6 degrees (F). This means not only do you have to get the composition right, the pH right, the color right, but you also have to get the temperature right.

And, finally,once you’ve figured all that, the person taking the test has to smuggle it in, keep it at the right temperature, and submit is as their real urine without anyone noticing. Fun stuff. But evidently, not too hard to pull off.

(If you’re taking a military or government test though, you’re outta luck: supposedly they watch. Military folks is this true?)

Fake Urine Brands

Where to Buy Fake Urine

Head shops and even wholesome stores like GNC often stock these products. (See GNC Products to Pass a Drug Test. And of course the internet offers an endless variety of vendors pushing their own brand.

Speaking of which, here’s an incomplete list of synthetic urine products:

  • Whizinator Whiz Kit
  • QuickFix Synthetic Urine
  • Dr. Green’s Agent X
  • Dr. John’s Famous Pee Pee
  • Clean Stream Urine Kit

Most are sold already in liquid form but some are sold as a powder that you mix up and turn into a liquid.

Supposedly there are way brands more than this? If you know of one, feel free to add it via the comments.

Temperature. Getting the temperature right is huge. If a sample is submitted but the temperate is out of range, the testing facility will obviously see this as a sign of an adulterated sample. You will fail & you will have to re-take the test. Worse yet, in some cases this can be reported to your employer, counselor, parents, etc – whoever is in charge of running the test – that your sample appears to be manipulated / tampered / messed with and you will be in a deep doo-doo.

So how are people getting around this?

Most of the time it just means following the directions that came with the product. They know temperature is critical and so they have a plan for how to keep things just right.

Tip: Most of the time you get a temperature gauge, it’s like a thermoeter, quite similar in function to the one I have to look at when my roommate leaves and I monitor his fish tank. Pay attention to this strip.

Tip: Lots of people talk about hiding it close it your body. Like in your arm pit or your crotch.

How Much Does Fake Urine Cost?

Between $20 and $30. Something like the Whizzinator costs more because it’s a whole kit that attaches to your body to deal with the concealment problem. It’s about twice as much as just the fake sample.

Does It Work?

Yes. And that’s why it’s so controversial.

Granted, for hardcore testing facilities and situations (military, government, etc), it’s unlikely passing off some synthetic stuff is going to work. The tests are simply too stringent. Plus they watch you while you pee.

But for everyone else,  you can read forums online and see that it consistently works so long as you follow the instructions.

And if you can’t do that, maybe you don’t deserve to pass your drug test. 😉


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